KNOT Magazine
Fall Issue 2022
Mem Zepper
OF THE DAYS
I know the value of the days
It’s why I spend them doing nothing
I have a seat in lower-society
Looking upwards to laugh at the laughing
Trudging outside the world’s dazzling ways
I dig my own grave for-a-living
Sometimes I regret ever meeting anyone
What a tragedy is “believing”
I breathe the fresh air and filter through
I am an actor playing me
I beg for love on the underground
While others beg for money
I’ve made my heart a public building
Take note, “Mr I’m alright Jack”
I know the value of the days
It’s why you can never buy one back
Now let me be on my ways
My head is heavy eyes are moist and mouth is dry
The biggest mistake I ever made
Was spelling “philosophy” without the “I."
WHEN I DIE
When I die of this love
Come...carve “fool”
On my grey stone
I walk a coward’s path
I am only beautiful
When I am alone
I know now there is a cure
That God does not possess
It is him! And not me!
Whom should step forward and confess
Though I never told you a lie
My reward was not the truth
Because our love got lost and so
At middle age I am finally sick of youth,
The outline of my soul is missing
You left me behind without
Letting go of my hand.
And now what is the order of the day?
For I am flying in the disorder of the night
A bird that knows not where to land
IF I COULD WATCH YOU SLEEP
If I could watch you sleep
I would not have the heart to awake you
I am poor...unattractive...lack entertainment...
Where do I find the nerve
To take you?
I hear the hum of the lake in your eyes
My bones revolt, break through my skin
To protect you
I will crawl to the four corners of the world
Alas, you have instructed me
To forsake you.
If I could watch you sleep
I would gather birds and hire instruments
To awake you.
Mem Zepper was born in a village south east of Turkey roughly two hours from the old city of Harput 1969. His family migrated to England. 1971. Austere,unflinching description, Moments of tenderness and squalor and dark themes of loneliness,social isolation and dislocation are running issues.. In materialistic and superficial times The poems question existence. And the responsibility humans must Oblige to the truth ...at all cost to self image...to be or not to be...yourself ..?
REFUGE
I take refuge in poetry
Where poverty blossoms
Women’s feet leave not a print
And the stomach gets drunk on tap water.
Imprisoned in a shed, situated
At the back of my mind I have
Scared life away from me
‘Tis also the case vice-versa.
I try to keep a harmonious tongue
But good people? You have
Witnessed for yourselves
Some folk crave a brutal answer.
The primitive man
With qualifications
The sober man
With hallucinations
The right honourable gentleman
With wrong un-honourable expenses
I take refuge in poetry
Squatting between the sentences.
We don’t really know exactly
What we are doing, we just follow
Things and see where it takes us
Never mind purchasing luxury
To even get a smile is all “subject to status”
I take refuge in poetry
Whether written by me the fool
Or them!...the old sages.
LEFT OF MY RED JUMPER
Ask me what I want from life
I am curious to hear my answer
Give me a wish I could tie, to the
Left of my red jumper.
I perhaps wish for a kettle
Or a chair to rest my body
Or a pair of shoes that can make me walk
Without looks from anybody.
I may wish for a table
To employ my pen and paper
Write me a wish I could pin, to the
Left of my red jumper.
I have given up on everyone
Now I only talk to myself
They used to question my morality
Now it’s just my mental health.
Can I ask for your eyes
To be my eternal helper?
The only wish I possess, to the
Left of my red jumper.
MILLION STAR HOTEL
Million Star Hotel
That’s where the man stay’
Huddled up in a shop door-way
The traffic a lullaby
Room service from passers by
Million Star Hotel
Where a million people stay
“What makes me laugh”, he would say
“Is that I think I smell,
What makes me sad”, then he would say
“Is my loneliness.”
“God has put survival in the air
I wake up to people urinating aiming for my ear
My face is cursed with an evil look
That my heart does not possess
But it’s not that which makes me sad
What makes me sad is my...loneliness.
My loneliness
Can fill every suitcase ever made
Fill every shoe that has ever been worn
It can crack a mountain.
I have seen it outshine the stars at night
And I have seen it cast its shadow over the sun at dawn.
Voluntarily?...or...inevitably perhaps?
I somehow engineered my social collapse!
And so I checked in to the Million Star Hotel,
where I found my peace in the epicentre of Hell”.