KNOT Magazine
Fall Issue 2022
Chase Spruiell
survival
there is not always
a good reason to break
an old habit
the easy way out
is sometimes the
only way out
at 3:14am
the night crawls
the fan blows
the whiskey
there are symptoms
of fear that
must be hidden
buried or
forgotten
a man can only
survive the
moment
take what the
whiskey will give you;
relish it
let it have you
when your old habits
kill you,
you’ll remember
that you were supposed
to die anyway
Denham Springs
There’s a hotel in Denham Springs,
Louisiana,
where I redefined my prison-fed idea
of home.
I funneled my thoughts into the universe of
open space,
and focus became the freedom in
my step.
There was no more gazing into silence with nothing
on my tongue;
No more anchors of fear.
I sank into a strangers bed,
and I counted my blessings,
while I dreamed there was no better
place to be.
wandering things
I flatten out the
bed sheets
and I disregard
the crumbs
I should break
my habit of
eating in bed,
but I am no longer
afraid of the
roaches
I understand that
they must
eat, too
like all
wandering
things
Chase Spruiell was born in Denton, Texas. He spent the majority of his life playing basketball throughout high school and college. He has a bachelor's degree in Digital Cinema and currently resides in Austin, Texas where he writes and plays music with his band, Free Kittens & Bread.
57
when I’m 57
I’ll think,
all those years
I spent
getting here,
all those steps
I took
getting here,
all of the awkward,
unnecessary conversation
that took me
nowhere,
all of the failed
jobs and hobbies,
the failed relationships,
every dehydrated
morning and
every self-loathed
night,
all of the
overpaid landlords,
every bill
paid late,
all of the
redos retries
reboots and
all of the times instability
led to a forced fresh start,
all of that
young pain
behind me and
I’ll think,
I’ve been waiting
a long time