KNOT Magazine
Fall Issue 2022
Carol Lynn Stevenson Grellas
(2)
The Night I Lured Him to Me
−after Federico Garcia Lorca's:
The Unfaithful Housewife
Then I led him to my chambers
where I dressed myself in petals,
as if the roses needed kissing
upon my breasts where his lips
were lost about my skin.
Though he had a wife, and I a husband
it was only once I told him
only once that I would betray my
vows and so he obliged me for the sake
of honor as it would be humiliating
to turn down such a come-on
from a woman twice his age.
His chin quivered when I bit
the toggles of his shirt and no one
could have imagined the hardness
within him, the roots that took
hold of me and pulled my soul
inside. I told him stories
of young virgins laying on a bed
of hydrangeas naked in the sun
hoping his mind would see beyond
my age to when I was once young
I begged his body to seduction
and said remember me on days
when you are old and the trees
are leafless beyond your window
when clouds ignore your prayers
and the sky doesn’t listen to your pleas.
Remember me on the day
you are most sad and take comfort
in knowing you brought me joy.
He asked me to kneel beside the bed,
whisper and say his name in songlike
fashion, the way the wind blows soft
on a summer’s eve. His hand brushed
across my face and I let my slip fall
below my waist as he held the twilight
in his eyes. The room became a starless
space of darkness where he
told me beautiful things
where we danced on linen
sheets the way angels move
through deathless ghosts, where I
baptized him into my own religion
where he used me and I used him
while I forgot my wifely ways
where the silkiest flower became
swollen with dew.
Bleakest Dance of the Downhearted
When I dream of fire, I dream of you─
my lungs inhaling a red flamed fever
until the burn overcomes my being
or maybe it’s just the end of world…
But only in that dream and yet there is
a suspension of life in sleep and I fear
death might arrive without warning, without
my need to panic or even my craving
to say goodbye. There is no allure in wandering
away to something strange, some far-off
place of loneness since loneness isn’t
about being alone. My mother always said
it is better to be wanted than to want, yet
you have become my outstretched desire,
my obsession for never leaving. If going
forward means a field of blackness without
you, where no lighted path will rinse my eyes
with your crimson haze of rapture I will lay
myself down upon a pitch of smoldering
greenery, somewhere amid winter and spring,
my body exhausted, my heart still ablaze.
It is only in the windiest of hours that I have clung
to the sound of your voice echoed deep within
my ears though I am terrified of the day
I will no longer hear you.
Boudoirs of Lavender Oil
Between an eyelid of light, eclipsed
by a lavender moon, the undressed fellatrix
splays above a dovetailed fitted
counterpane, in oily nudeness, curved
to womblike grace after erratic rounds
of punishing-love. Her boudoir’s a room
of whispers and hums while he comes
to a Venus girl’s wicking massage. Aromatherapy
and Kama-Sutra-evenings, where she plays
his flute, shifts to the lilac − echo of muted
moans over cylindrical motion, where nothingness
groans and draws in the scent of violet
skin; a flowering explosion so abundant
within, she imagines channeling life
from the downing swallow, all the way
to the impregnation of fallopian tubes.
Carol Lynn Stevenson Grellas is a seven-time Pushcart nominee as well as a four-time Best of the Net nominee. She is the 2012 winner of the Red Ochre Press Chapbook contest with her manuscript Before I Go to Sleep. She has authored several chapbooks along with her latest full-length collection of poems: Hasty Notes in No Particular Order, newly released from Aldrich Press. Her work has appeared in a wide variety of online and print magazines including: The Yale Journal for Humanities in Medicine, Poets and Artists, War, Literature and the Arts and many more. According to family lore she is a direct descendent of Robert Louis Stevenson. www.clgrellaspoetry.com