KNOT Magazine
Fall Issue 2022
Bänoo Zan
Letter to God
You cannot be going East this morning
meeting sunrise with a green rag—
cannot be this late
would have to be already above the plain
your machete making love to light
You’d have to have droned your way
into headlines
You cannot have been Charlie
would have to be yourself
no safety in protest of millions
You cannot be any but me
fearing that speech is not free
and that life is a good price
In this drama
I find myself playing you—
the mask, chorus and spectators
I find myself finding myself
your messenger of light with dark skin
inviting siblings of sapphire
to the meeting of Moses with the Mount
You could not have slept last night
your eyes rubies robbed of gold
You could not have been listening
to the news
or, could you?
After all, you are everywhere
even on the throne you abdicated
You cannot be going West this morning
would have to have stepped
between the sun and the moon
stretched your arms to both sides
and reconciled beauties
You’d have to have looked human
assumed gender, age and race
You’d have to have fallen from yourself
down among us
and glad I am you haven’t
Let blood flow where it should
in the veins, to the heart and back
Pick another colour
to paint your palette
With all checkpoints
and suicide searches
with your wrong ID
you cannot be going home
this morning
Allah-u Jamil va Yoheb-o Jamal[1]
Love me
as you have—
since you knew
yourself
before tears
after joy
Love me
as I am—
your verse
your witness
your lover
Seven times
on this scene
unseen
circle my Ka’abah
with bare feet
Let your blood
be my pilgrim
Lose me
in yourself
Find me
in me
Let your book
sing my sins
Draw your life
around my death
Let your prayer
flood my waves
where fate
is free
and rebellion
is religion
Be with me
Be me
[1] Allah is beautiful and loves beauty, hadith attributed to the prophet Mohammad
Poet, translator, teacher, editor and poetry organizer Bänoo Zan has been writing poetry since the age of ten and has published more than 80 poems, translations, biographies, and articles. Two books of her poetry are due to be released in 2015 and 2016. She is the founder, and an organizer and host of Shab-e She’r (Poetry Night), the most diverse of its kind in Toronto. For more than two years, Shab-e She’r has been bridging the gap between diverse poetry communities, bringing together people from different ethnicities, nationalities, ages, disabilities, religions (or lack thereof), genders, sexual orientations, poetic styles, voices and visions.